Philip Chang gave me a wonderful gift in Bali. He caused me to think back over my time as a father. Philip helps to take the “Centre for Fathering” into different parts of Singaporean life. An important truth I understood through him is that fathering is about building a relationship, not about behaviour, expectation, responsibility or performance.
Throughout our conversations I would reflect on the global strategy of TWR. Our work is about bringing the good news of the kingdom of God to women and children and young people around the world; even though they face terrible abuses such as brutality, war, starvation, slavery, forced prostitution, and often state sponsored abortion. Our work is to help them in these terrible circumstances. We also work among HIV/AIDS suffering communities.
During my discussions with Philip it brought home again that a common denominator is male behaviour; and, inadequate fathering over generations.
Philip asked me if I had ever had a conversation with my children about the failures of my fathering techniques and style. His question set me aback. It’s a challenge worth overcoming in order to strengthen the relationship between me and my daughter and son.
Our conversations became broader. What impact would beautiful fathering have on our prison populations? And, what impact would beautiful fathering have on families, both rich and poor? What impact would beautiful fathering have on the Church? Where could this start in the church?
And, “Where does the answer to beautiful fathering lie?”
I’ll give you a hint. If it’s about relationship, it won’t come through Church or State sponsored programs.
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